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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29374638">Until I Feel Your Touch</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx/pseuds/xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx'>xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jukebox Singles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, and also to write about Luke in his FEELINGS, no beta we die like our favorite ghost band, this is really just an excuse to write about HANDS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:08:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29374638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx/pseuds/xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Luke imagines what it would be like to explore the dips, and the grooves, and the planes, of Juile’s hands with his own until he doesn’t have to. Until the night of The Orpheum when he’s so sure he’ll be wiped from existence and won’t ever be able to entertain a single, achingly beautiful, thought about Julie ever again."</p><p>- OR -</p><p>The one where Luke desperately wishes he could just hold Julie’s hand, but he can’t. And then he can, but then he’s afraid to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Mercer &amp; Julie Molina &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie Peters, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jukebox Singles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132940</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>366</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Until I Feel Your Touch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Y'all kept saying you wanted Juke hands, and far be it from me to deny you of said HANDS.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are a lot of things Luke tries not to think about. Things he tries to keep tucked away in the far corner of his mind because they’re safer there where they can’t take up so much space they run the risk of running rampant. He tries to do the same with Julie, too. Tries not to let her consume his thoughts once he realizes his infatuation with her goes far beyond a deep appreciation for her insane talent, and veers dangerously close toward an adoration that terrifies him in all of the best ways.</p><p>But it doesn’t seem right, to put Julie back there. To tuck her away in that corner of his mind reserved for the darker thoughts Luke wishes he could erase permanently. Thoughts about the regret he still feels over being too stubborn to make amends with his parents before he’d died. Thoughts about the guilt he carries over the fact that <em>he’d</em> been the one to suggest they head out for the street dogs that killed them the night Sunset Curve should have become legends. It doesn’t seem right to file Julie away with thoughts like that, because Julie’s far too bright to exist alongside such lingering darkness. But also because it seems like a bit of a moot point to try and confine the idea of her to such a small space. Especially when Luke knows full well that Julie— even the idea of Julie— would never have stayed put if he’d tried to contain her to begin with.</p><p>So Luke lets Julie make herself at home in his head. Lets her spread out in there until she outgrows the space and starts spilling over into his heart. The same heart that hasn’t fluttered in twenty-five years, but that has, somehow, (against all odds) figured out a way to sing for Julie anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Luke tries not to think about it. What he and Julie <em>could</em> be if they’d met under normal circumstances. If he was just a normal boy, and she the extraordinary girl he could’t help but gravitate toward. He tries not to think about how there’s a growing part of him that aches for them to be more than what they are. He dismisses it because it’s foolish. Because he knows there’s no point in wishing things were different when all of the wishing in the world won’t make him any less of a ghost. Luke dismisses it in much the same way that he shrugs off Alex and Reggie whenever they point out the undeniable chemistry he shares with Julie on stage, or when they tease him about how his eyes go soft and adoring whenever he gets going about her immeasurable talent, or when they point out the fact that he gets a little bit glum on days when Julie’s got so much homework, she can’t come down to the studio at all.</p><p>It works for a while. It works until it doesn’t. It works until Luke gives himself one single, selfish moment to entertain the simplest desire he’ll allow himself to consider. Until he and Julie are standing on her front porch and he carefully moves his hand until it’s almost touching hers. And with his fingertips so close to hers its almost unbearable, Luke finally succumbs— <em>just for a moment</em>— and allows himself to imagine what it might be like if their hands <em>could</em> actually touch.</p><p>Later, Luke will berate himself for the way he reaches out for her hand regardless of the fact that he knows her own will slip right through his. He’ll berate himself, too, for being foolish enough to believe that allowing himself a moment of weakness will be enough to satisfy his aching heart. And he’ll hate himself a little bit for ignoring the small voice in the back of his head that cautions him about how there’ll be no coming back from it the moment he caves. The same small voice that whispers <em>“I told you so,”</em> when he realizes that, after that night on the porch, it’s like he’s opened the floodgates and thrown away the key.</p><p> </p><p>Julie occupies his thoughts on most days, but it’s different now. It’s less about her talent, and her kindness, and the way he appreciates how easily she fits into his little found family. It’s less about the fierce gratitude he feels whenever it seems as if Julie always knows exactly how to get Alex through an anxious afternoon. It’s less about how his fondness for her blooms over the way that she’s always got time to listen whenever Reggie starts going off about country music, or <em>Star Wars</em>, or <em>Back to the Future</em>. It’s less about the warmth that ignites within his chest whenever she sits with him while he sits with his own feelings. It’s all of those little things rolled in to one, and <em>then</em> some, and then <em>so much more</em>. And it comes coupled with a new feeling— the same feeling of desire that hasn’t waned since that night on her front porch. The one that hasn’t waned since the first time Luke had allowed himself to entertain the idea of what it would be like if he could feel Julie’s hand in his own.</p><p>He imagines it during sleepless nights in the studio, wondering if her slender fingers would fit perfectly in the space between his own. He imagines it during the day when she’s at school, wondering if her palm would feel as warm as the rest of her skin looks when pressed against his. He imagines it when they’re writing music together. When they’re sitting side by side on the piano bench, while he watches her hands dance delicately over the ebony and ivory keys. Wondering, as his eyes follow her movements, if her fingertips would feel as soft and as smooth as he imagines they would if she could dance them across the top of his own hand in much the same way.</p><p>Luke imagines what it would be like to explore the dips, and the grooves, and the planes, of Juile’s hands with his own until he doesn’t have to. Until the night of The Orpheum when he’s <em>so sure</em> he’ll be wiped from existence and won’t ever be able to entertain a single, achingly beautiful, thought about Julie ever again.</p><p>He gives himself purchase to picture it one more time. To imagine what it would be like to feel his hands wrapped around hers while he musters up the strength to make what he thinks might very well be his last declaration.</p><p>And the only altar Luke had truly ever worshipped at toward the end of his short life is at that of music and lyrics— but that doesn’t stop him from praying in that moment. From shooting up a silent plea to whatever gods, or deities, or spirits might be listening. He begs with them to help Julie understand. To help her see, even after he’s gone, that there’s so much more weight to the words he speaks now than what they might seem to hold at face value.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“No music is worth making, Julie, if we’re not making it with you— no regrets.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His head is a jumble of declarations he can’t bring himself to speak:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I don’t want to go.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish we had more time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t want to leave you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p><em>I love you</em>.</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s a silent, ironclad declaration Luke can’t deny. A statement he’s known to be true for a while, despite the fact that he’s been too stubborn to let himself even think the words. But once they’re there, floating around in his brain, he can’t wipe them away. He can’t drown them out. He can’t stop them from echoing and ricochetting around in his head.</p><p>And he’s so consumed by it that it’s all he can focus on. The fact that he’s finally admitted to himself that he loves Julie, and that he loves her in a different way than he loves his parents, or Alex, or Reggie, or even music. So when Julie flings her arms around him and he catches her around the waist, it takes a moment for his brain to process the fact that she hasn’t slipped right though him. That he can feel her skin beneath his palms, and her wild curly hair tickling his nose, and the heat of her breath, the accidental brush of her lips against the shell of his ear when she whispers her response.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I love you guys…”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her voice comes out soft, and broken, and through a quiet sob that coaxes another stream of tears out ofthe corners of his own eyes.</p><p>And there's not enough time to savor it. To savor the warmth of her fingertips against his face, or the soft curve of her cheeks beneath his rough callouses, or the feel of her hands (<em>finally, finally</em>) curled in his own. But Luke makes the most of the precious few seconds they <em>do</em> have. Cradles her hands against his chest, and presses them gently to the center of his sternum. He knows Julie is made of skin and bone just like everyone else, but it still feels different. It feels like so much more. It feels like her hands are burning an imprint into his heart-- the one that lies in wait beneath his ribs. And Luke can’t help the watery chuckle that escapes from between his lips. Because it makes sense that Julie’s unknowingly figured out a way to leave brand on his heart, just like Julie’s burned everything she is into the very fiber of his soul.</p><p>She slips out of his grasp, beckons Alex and Reggie over, and pulls all three of them into a tight embrace. And they might not be touching anymore, but Luke's eyes never leave hers. Not when they're entangled in the band group hug. Not when they're jumping in celebration. And not when the four of them bask in the afterglow together, punch-drunk in wonderment over the fact that they've somehow figured out a way to break free of Caleb's curse.</p><p> </p><p>It's different after The Orpheum. It’s (to borrow a phrase from Alex) “a big freaking change.”</p><p>Luke spends that night restless and jittery, counting down the hours, and the minutes, and the seconds until he can see Julie again.</p><p>He fills the stretches of comfortable silence that settle over the studio by silently reminiscing about moments from earlier in the night. Closing his eyes in an effort to conjure up flashes of the girl he can’t get out of his head or his heart. He thinks about what it was like to feel Julie warm and solid against his chest, in his arms, between the palms of his hands. And just the mere memory of the feel of her is enough to send a pleasant thrum of warmth through him. It starts in his limbs before settling pleasantly in his chest, bringing with it the desire to retrace the invisible fingerprints he’d left behind on her skin. And it leaves him longing to make up for all of the times he’d wished he could have touched her. To make up for all of those missed moments of physical touch with gentle nudges to the ribs, or a friendly arm slung around her shoulder, or the feather soft graze of his fingers brushing against her own.</p><p>Luke’s racing thoughts work him into a restless frenzy, anticipation bubbling in his chest as he watches the sun come up and bathe the studio in a golden glow.</p><p>The telltale sound of the studio doors creaking open have Luke bouncing up on onto his feet, and just the sight of Julie standing up ahead, haloed in the morning light makes his chest ache. But he doesn’t move. Instead, Luke stands frozen by the chair he’d been lounging in all night long, suddenly nervous as he tries quickly to collect himself.</p><p>He’d spent the entire night planning out exactly what he would do the moment Julie showed up. He’d envisioned a reunion with less hesitation. A moment in which he’d perhaps scoop her up in a good morning hug, holding on just a bit longer than one might normally in an effort to soak up the feel of her in his arms. But it’s different now that Julie’s standing a few feet away in front of him, stealing the air straight out of his lungs— and not just because Luke has finally admitted to himself that he’s in love with her. It’s different because amidst all of the racing thoughts whirling through his mind, comes a terrifying notion that cracks through what little resolve he has left. It lands like a lightning bolt striking the earth and leaving it marred. And it manifests in a quiet, fearful voice that wonders about whether or not he’ll still be solid now that a new dawn has come. A voice that points out that there’s still a chance that the magic from the night before will have already worn off.</p><p>A panic settles in the pit of Luke’s stomach as Julie takes a step toward him, but Luke doesn’t have to worry for long because Reggie chooses that exact moment to come barreling out of the bathroom in the back of the studio.</p><p>The bassist makes it look so easy. The way he fearlessly runs straight over to Julie and flings his arms around her. And the fact that Reggie didn’t pass straight through Julie should be enough to quell Luke’s fears, but it doesn’t. Because when has life ever been fair? When has life ever worked out exactly the way he’d thought it would? It hadn’t when he’d tried explaining to his parents why music is so important to him. It hadn’t when he’d run out of his childhood home, thinking he could always go back eventually if he figured out how to set aside his pride. It hadn’tthe night of their Orpheum showcase back in 1995 when they’d died before they’d even made it in front of the crowd. And it certainly hadn’t when he’d learned that Bobby had stolen his legacy in stealing the songs he’d poured his heart and soul into. And suddenly, Luke finds himself realizing that he’s not sure he can take another monumental loss— especially not if that loss has anything to do with Julie. So instead of following Reggie’s lead, he heads over to where his Fender is resting on its stand. Luke slings the guitar strap over his head, his fingers mindlessly gravitating toward the turning pegs, fiddling with them idly despite the fact that he knows his guitar doesn’t need tuning.</p><p>Alex poofs in moments later, and Luke finds himself averting his eyes when Julie pulls the drummer into a warm embrace.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I’ll try later— maybe I’m just nervous— maybe it’s just a lot to take in, the idea that we can touch now. Maybe I just need a minute…</em>
</p><p>It’s the last thing Luke tells himself in an attempt to make himself feel better before he shakes his head and calls the band over so they can start practicing.</p><p>“<em>Dude</em>, chill. We just survived an evil ghost curse! <em>Pretty sure </em>that’s a good a reason as any to start band practice <em>a little</em> late,” Alex says. He pairs his words with a playful roll of his eyes, but he gravitates over to his drum kit regardless, and for that, Luke is incredibly grateful.</p><p>“Not to mention we just played a <em>killer </em>gig at The Orpheum!” Reggie adds brightly.</p><p>“<em>Right.</em> Which is exactly why we need to <em>practice,” </em>Luke says firmly. “We gotta stay sharp, guys! The calls are going to start pouring in now that we’ve played The Orpheum— I bet you anything we’ll have our next gig lined up by the end of the week!”</p><p>In the end, it’s Julie who chimes in and provides him with some much needed backup. It’s clear she’s picked up on the fact that there’s a reason why he’s itching to practice, but he’s not quite sure if she’s zeroed in on why. If she’s realized that he’s itching for a distraction so he won’t have to think about the fear concerning her that’s currently growing inside of him.</p><p>“How about we start with ‘Bright’?” She offers, shooting him a soft, encouraging smile as she takes a seat behind her keyboard.</p><p> </p><p>It’s an irrational fear and Luke knows it. This idea that he might not be able to touch Julie again. This idea that the night of their show at The Orpheum was the only chance he’d ever get to feel her hands in his. This idea that, for some reason, he’ll be the only one out of the three of them who won’t be able to touch Julie because he’s the one who longs to do so the most. And it bothers him that he can’t push past the fear. That he can’t shoo it away with cold hard evidence. That no matter how many times he sees Julie rub Alex’s back whenever he’s worrying about Willie’s whereabouts, or watches as Reggie slings an arm over her shoulder, he can’t seem push past the fear for long enough to do the same. Instead, it eats away at him. This idea that none of them knows how ghost magic really works, so there’s still every possibility that he might still slip right through Julie the next time he tries to initiate contact. That it’ll be just like that night on her front porch when he’d so desperately wanted to hold her hand and her fingers had slipped right through him. And the longer Luke puts off trying to touch her in any way, the more the fear grows and spreads inside of him.</p><p> </p><p>Steering clear Julie is easier said than done.</p><p>It works out alright for a couple of days, but Luke’s not blind, and Julie isn’t stupid, and it doesn’t take long for her to realize that he’s avoiding her.</p><p>The frown that manifests itself on her face every time Luke side-steps her, or grabs his guitar in an effort to put something physical between them, grows deeper the more and more Luke avoids getting too close. And Julie’s disappointment haunts him even when she’s not around, settling in his chest like a deadweight he can't shake.</p><p>The straw that finally breaks the camel’s back comes about a week and a half after The Orpheum when she sneaks up on him while he’s sitting at her mother’s grand piano.</p><p>Luke had been so consumed with attempting to transpose a piano part into an old Sunset Curve song they hadn't gotten around to playing with yet, that he hadn’t even noticed Julie coming into the studio after work.</p><p>“Not bad,” she says from just behind him, causing Luke to jump slightly. “But your hand placement is all off on the keys— and I think maybe we should try it an octave higher?”</p><p>He has just enough time to catch Julie’s hand reaching out, hovering over his own as though getting ready to move his fingers into the correct position with hers. And the only thought that passes through his brain as panic courses in his veins is, <em>“not yet.”</em></p><p>Luke poofs to the other side of the studio, landing in front of the pull-out couch just in time to see Julie’s face crumple.</p><p>“Jules—“ Luke starts as she tears her eyes away from his own.</p><p>“Julie, I’m sorry, I—“</p><p>She doesn’t stay to hear whatever it is that Luke was going to say, pushing back forcefully from the piano before high tailing it out of the studio.</p><p>And Luke’s still afraid of the <em>“what-ifs”</em> that have been haunting him since the morning after The Orpheum. But the fear is nothing compared to the way his heart shatters over the realization that he’s clearly hurt Julie more than he’d meant to. He sits with the knowledge of the consequences of his actions for a moment before he walks through the studio doors Julie had left open after she’d stormed out. He’s not quite sure exactly how he’s going to fix things— or if Julie will even let him— he just knows he’s got to try.</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s halfway up the Molina’s front porch steps, ready to march right up to Julie’s room when he pauses, his eyes catching sight of a crumpled up piece of paper thrown among the ferns Ray takes such pride in maintaining. Curiosity gets the better of him as he plucks it out from the leaves, fingers carefully unfurling it from the tight ball it had been wadded into the moment he recognize part of Julie’s handwriting peeking out among the creases. He begins to read once the paper has been smoothed out,brows knotting together in concentration, as his brain tries to process the words written in purple ink. And once he’s poured over the raw honesty in Julie’s words— soaked them in once, twice, three times just to be sure— he pulls a ballpoint pen from behind his ear. And right there against the railing, in the same spot where he’d first tried to take Julie’s hand in his own, Luke begins to write. His sharp, messy, scrawl is a stark contrast to Julie’s loopy script, but it slots in effortlessly next to hers on the lined paper— a perfect fit— just like <em>they’re </em>a perfect fit in every possible way. Because it’s them. Because it’s Luke and Julie. Because, as Julie had so cleverly put it on the same sheet of lined binder paper he’s currently scribbling on, they create a perfect harmony.</p><p> </p><p>His hands are shaking when he’s done, body vibrating with a heady combination of adrenaline and nervousness that suddenly makes the walk up to Julie’s room seem like it’ll take far too long. He poofs up instead on impulse, landing just near her bedroom window. Luke freezes at the sight of Julie pouring over a notebook on her bed, still none the wiser of his presence. She startles when her pencil rolls off the mattress, Luke bounding forward to pick it up and hand it back to her before she can reach down to get it herself.</p><p>“Do we have to have another talk about boundaries?” Julie asks glumly after a moment.</p><p>“No, I think you’ve made yourself pretty clear about that,” Luke replies from where he’s still kneeling by the foot of her bed. He offers her a halfhearted smile before he pushes on. “But would you even have let me in if you’d heard me knocking?”</p><p>Julie sighs, shaking her head slowly. She doesn’t ask him to leave though, and Luke takes that as a good sign.</p><p>“I, uh…found this out by the front of your house— I hope you didn’t really mean to throw it away,” he says quietly as he sets the crinkled piece of paper down on top of her open notebook. “It’s beautiful, Julie.”</p><p>Julie hardly glances down at what Luke’s handed her, but he has an inkling feeling that she knows what it is he's brought her.</p><p>“Is this why you won’t touch me?” she blurts out, pointing down at the song he’d returned to her (albeit, with a few additions of his own that she hasn’t noticed just yet.)</p><p>“What?” Luke whispers in confusion.</p><p>“Because it doesn’t mean the same thing to you as it does to me?" she continues on, as though she hadn't heard him at all. "Because you know it means <em>more</em> to me?”</p><p>Her voice quivers at the end. It’s slight, but it’s enough for Luke to catch it. For him to register how much the questions she rattles off at him pain her to vocalize.</p><p>And the harsh reality of it— of knowing <em>he’s</em> the one who’s caused her pain— of knowing he’d caused her pain because he’d selfishly been trying to protect his own heart, is almost too much for him to bear.</p><p>“Is that really why you think I won’t?” He whispers.</p><p>“So you <em>have </em>been avoiding it!” Julie says it like an accusation. Like she’s been waiting for Luke to fess up this whole time.</p><p>“Jules, it’s not that I don’t want to— it’s that it scares me,” he confesses. “I’m not…good with words off the cuff like you are. It doesn’t ever feel like I know the right thing to say in the moment. Not when it comes to you. Not when you deserve so much more than a handful of half-formed thoughts.”</p><p>The fire of frustration that had ignited in Julie’s eyes mere moments ago has dulled to something akin to twin pools of glowing embers, and Luke takes a deep breath before he continues. “I hope you don’t mind, but I added a first verse and a second pre-chorus,” he adds, nodding toward the song.</p><p>He waits until she dips her eyes down and begins to read before he continues.</p><p>“You know, that night after The Orpheum? I thought for sure that was it for us, and the idea of that was terrifying— but it wasn’t scary because we had no idea about what was coming next. It was terrifying because I wanted to stay. Because I wanted to stay with <em>you</em>,” Luke starts. “And then we were touching and all I could think about was…” he stares down at his hands, fiddling with the ring on his index finger as he searches for the right words.</p><p>“Was what?”</p><p>Luke looks up when Julie prompts him only to find she’s already staring back at him, her curious brown eyes full of a weary hope that looks as cautious as the two words she’d just breathed out.</p><p>“All I could think about was that, if this was really it for me, then at least I got to feel you in my arms— just once— before I disappeared,” Luke says earnestly. “You know, I used to think that I’d never want anything more than I wanted to play music? But the only thing I’ve ever wanted more than that is to be <em>real</em> to <em>you</em>— to be real <em>for</em> you. And I know it’s going to sound stupid, but I’ve just been so scared that I might… not be anymore. That you’ll try and touch me and it’ll be like sticking your hand through smoke.”</p><p>It’s the hardest thing Luke’s ever done. To sit there and silently hold Julie’s eyes with his own while he waits for her to process the words he’s just said. But she’s been so patient in letting him take his time, and the least he can do now is offer her the same courtesy.And when she finally sucks in a slow breath as though readying to say her piece, he exhales his own— the one he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding while he’d been waiting for her to speak.</p><p>“I get that you’re scared— I’m scared too— Luke, you terrify me in all of the best ways,” she starts.</p><p>There’s a dull ache that settles over him at Julie’s words. Because it’s one thing for Luke to be miserable, but it’s another to suddenly become so incredibly hyper aware of the fact that maybe, Julie’s miserable too. That maybe she’s miserable for the same reasons he is.</p><p>Luke knows her well enough by now to know that she’s nervous— that it’s hard for her to get whatever it is she’s trying to tell him out. But there’s a fierce look of determination in her eyes, and it comes coupled with something else. Something softer that makes him feel as though the air’s been stolen straight out of his lungs. Julie’s looking at him in a way he’s not quite sure he deserves to be looked at, and it’s all suddenly too much. So Luke shuts his eyes, and squeezes them tight, willing the all-consuming ache in his chest to ebb away to something dull and far less distracting.</p><p>“Do you know what scares me most though?” Her words are a whisper but they echo in his ears.</p><p>Julie lets her question hang there between them while her fingertips carefully trace the contours of his face. Luke parts his lips, exhaling a shaky breath at the feeling. He can’t bring himself to form words so he shakes his head instead in an attempt to offer her a feeble answer.</p><p>“It’s never being able to— never knowing—“</p><p>And maybe this is as far as Julie’s bravery goes. Maybe this is the part where she pulls back, and they go back to dancing around each other from a respectable distance. And if that’s what she needs— if Julie’s not ready— he won’t be the one to push her and send them both tumbling over the edge. Luke’s about to open his eyes and put them both out of their misery, but then the bed beneath his crossed arms dips as Julie inches closer. And the last thing he feels before she touches her lips to his is the gentle caress of her thumb brushing over his cheek.</p><p>Julie’s mouth is feather light and warm against his own, the soft pressure there one minute and then gone the next. He opens his eyes at the loss of contact, thinking for a moment that he must have dreamed the part where Julie had kissed him first. But then the first thing he sees is the sight of Juile’s face near his own— as close to his as it often is whenever they get swept upin the music they create together and the only thing separating them is the microphone she holds between them.</p><p>“Sorry, I just,” Julie starts, her cheeks burning a lovely shade of pink that Luke secretly thinks might very well be his new favorite color. “I just wanted to know what it would feel like— just once.”</p><p>He takes advantage of the hand Juile’s still got pressed against his cheek. Reaches up and takes it in one of his own before turning his head to press a kiss to the center of her palm. It’s a place holder. A promise of more. A bookmark for the words they both feel so intrinsically with every fiber of their beings, there’s no need to say them aloud.</p><p>“No,” he counters through a soft smile, enjoying the sound of the tiny sigh she lets out when he brushes his thumb over her knuckles. “Not just once.”</p><p>It’s the last thing Luke says before he leans in and kisses her. And if he thought a simple brush of Julie’s mouth against his own had been heaven, it’s nothing compared to the way it feels when she parts her lips under his and kisses him back. And when Julie presses a palm to his chest, straight over the same spot he’d held her hands to the night after The Orpheum, Luke’s heart explodes in a golden warmth to rival that of a thousand burning stars.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a small piece of him that still frets over how much time they have left together. It’s a fear Luke knows won’t ever go away. But the prospect of a storm looming on the horizon doesn’t seem as terrifying anymore. Not with the knowledge of Julie’s love wrapped snug around his soul, shining bright like a sun ready to keep the clouds at bay. Because as long as Julie’s by his side, Luke’s fairly certain that together, they’ll be able to weather whatever life throws at them next.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My brain is so fried after writing this and part of me can't believe I'm finally posting it. In a lot of ways I feel like I've been working on it FOREVER.</p><p>More importantly, I hope all of you fellow appreciators of HANDS enjoyed this one-shot which ended up having a bit more plot than I expected it to, but was 100 percent inspired by Luke trying to hold Julie's hand in 1x08, and then the all of he hands we got in the tail end of 1x09.</p><p>Thank you in advance for any of you who are kind enough to leave kudos and/or comments-- I absolutely love getting to hear what you guys think about the things I'm writing. I can't remember the last time I was inspired enough to crank out this many stories in such a short amount of time for one fandom, and that's a testament to all of the love and support y'all continuously throw my way!</p><p>See y'all when I see you for the next one!</p><p>In between updates, you can come and hang out with me over on <a href="https://xxprettylittletimebombxx.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a> and/or on <a href="https://twitter.com/ElaWithAnE">Twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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